Submitted by Hita, from India.
Women: Victims of Tradition and Values
Customs are the backbone of a society. Customs mould our behaviour and define our personalities. They are important and no one can deny that. These customs are passed down from generation to generation in the name of tradition. They give structure to the families but sometimes, these very customs trap us. From the ancient times, women have been treated as inferior to their male counterparts. Confined to the four walls of their homes, they have been continuously told to be content with it. Now that the world is developing, one would think that the status of women in society would change too, but only a little of this change has been achieved so far.Although women are exercising rights today which would not have been possible a few decades ago, the frequency of crimes against women has gained momentum. It is as if women are being punished for speaking up and exercising their rights. A police officer in Canada broke a girl’s arm because her mother asked him to stop her boyfriend from abusing her; a call that mother will regret for the rest of her life. The world becomes an even more dangerous place when the saviour becomes the abuser, when the ones who are supposed to look out for you turn against you. Women who are victims of rape or molestation are often reportedly raped by the police officers and then threatened to keep quiet. Gender-based violence is neither new nor unknown. Sex crimes are ubiquitous. They recognise no boundary, no culture, no society, no language and no nation. If women are being abused in India, the same is happening in Seattle and Sydney.
I am both in awe and in shock at how crimes against women have been so assimilated and accepted in our day-to-day lives that we no longer raise our voice against such heinous crimes. Men and women are born alike but their course of life is moulded by society. Their roles and duties are pre-defined. No matter how much the women accomplish in their lives, they will forever be treated as inferior and as a man’s property. It is a man’s world and the only way to be a part of this society is to play into the hands of men – be it your father, brother, boyfriend, husband, mentor, teacher or son.
Things get even worse when women turn on women. Sometimes, the matriarch of the family initiates the process of female foeticide, killing the new-born girl by fatally strangling her or burying her alive. This practice is still prevalent in south-east Asia where girls are unwanted and looked upon as a burden. My own paternal grandmother and relatives literally cried when I was born. On the birth of my younger sister, a stranger asked my mother whether they would kill her, as girls are not wanted in the Rajput clan of the Hindu families. We were lucky. They did not kill us, but sometimes I wonder if that would have been kinder. For the abuse which I have suffered only because I am a girl, I have thought about ending my life almost every day. And it would be safe to say that I am not alone as there are millions of women who suffer only because they were born as the wrong gender.
We are no longer living in barbaric times, but the abuse of women has not changed. On the contrary, it has become more systematic. Women are deliberately kept from raising their voice in the name of tradition and values and where some do dare to act out of free will, they are either disowned or beaten up or worse, subjected to sexual assault. They are given a bad name and excluded from society as if they were the culprits and not the victims.
Slavery has been abolished and made a criminal offence but what about the slavery which goes on in our daily lives around us? In some societies women slave from dawn till dusk and then also get slapped around and badly beaten up on a daily basis by their abusive husbands.
Some traditions are worse than others. In Indian culture, particularly among the Hindus, the practice of dowry claims thousands of lives of innocent women every year. The dowry system requires the bride’s relatives to comply with the demands of the bridegroom and his family. These demands range from a gold chain, an expensive car to a plot of land and, when these demands are not met, the bride is sent back to her father’s house. That is if she is lucky. Most of the women are burnt alive by their in-laws or commit suicide because of their husband’s and in-laws’ torture. According to statistics, a woman is burnt alive every hour in India and for every registered case, a dozen cases go unreported. Such crimes have not deterred the abusers and the practice is still prevalent.
While India is still holding onto its horrendous “traditions”, its neighbouring countries are a step ahead of it. Pakistan and Afghanistan have become notorious worldwide for honour killings. In these countries, women are killed brutally and in some cases, beheaded for not conforming to their religious values. This crime has transcended boundaries and is taking place in other parts of the world. In London, a Muslim father killed his daughter in the name of religion because she refused to wear the traditional hijab and refused to live by his rules. The father was not alone to blame as the mother helped him cover up his heinous crime. According to UN estimates, around 5,000 women are victims of honour killings worldwide every year. But this is only a tip of the iceberg. These so-called honour killings are carried out in order to save the honour of families and the issues endangering such “honour” range from refusal to enter into an arranged marriage, seeking divorce from an abusive husband, being a victim of a sexual assault to the mere perception of having committed adultery.
If there are plenty of reasons for killing the females in a family, there are even more ways of committing such crimes. Women are victims of acid throwing, domestic violence, forced abortion, sexual slavery and mutilation.
Traditions are integrated in our lives from the moment we are born, but what do we do when these values trample our rights? Change them. When the very notion which is supposed to show us the right way turns us into monsters and killers, those traditions need to be altered.
A wave of change needs to be brought so that women can live their lives fully without being crucified for it. Women are victims of heinous crimes of men but suffer far more due to everyone’s inaction. A voice has to be raised which is not easily subdued or hushed. A movement needs to be set in motion so that women feel safer in their homes and on the street. Change does not take place at once. It is a continuous effort and everyone has to participate in it. Each person who realises and understands that something is very much wrong with the way we treat (or rather abuse) women has to take responsibility individually to stand up to these crimes and help in abolishing the wrong values which claim lives of innocent women worldwide. Women form almost half of the world’s total population and discrimination against women cannot be tolerated anymore. I am a victim of sexual abuse, but I make a difference every time I get up and fight against the values which permit such crimes. I hope for a better future for I have not yet broken down and I will not give up. Change is possible and everyone has to contribute to it rather than simply shutting their eyes and souls to what is going on around us.
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